I woke up this morning feeling a lot better than I expected to. No nausea or life sucked out of me feeling, which is a real blessing. I got up and had some breakfast and made my power smoothie. As the day has worn on, I am starting to get some side effects, the worst ones are a rash that is developing on my hands and forearms and a swollen, bloated stomach. I am a bit spaced out and have a slight chemical taste in my mouth, which I know unfortunately will get worse. Chemo affects the parts of your body with a fast cell turnover so the digestive system takes a real pounding. I have a very sensitive stomach anyway, so this is a real struggle for me. I remember last time that it really attacked my eyes, making them water and sting and it also attacked my teeth, giving me constantly sensitive teeth. I hope it won’t be so bad this time but only time will tell.
I have been marvelling at the way the universe works today and the fact that I now have a connection with someone who I never thought I would ever have a connection with. The shift that this has created within me and the peace that it has brought to a time in my life that I had been unable to move on from until now has initiated some deep healing. What a blessing this time in my life is turning out to be.
I am still overwhelmed with gratitude for all the messages of love and support that I am continuing to receive. I can’t tell you how much it means to me. I feel like I am being carried along on a wave of love and it makes the journey so, so different.
I had my first meeting with Dr Kim today and our time together flew by. We discussed my vision of our journey together and how I would know when I had reached my destination. We also discussed how I wanted to feel when I left the meeting today. On a pure functional level, the first step is to have some tests done to see where my body is now and in particular to check whether I am hosting any parasites. My bloods show that my haemoglobin levels are low meaning that I am starting this journey with anaemia, which is tough on my body. I told him my story as to why I am marvelling at the things that are showing up in my life and how I have made a connection with a deeply painful event in my life. He opened my mind to a completely different way of viewing what had happened and in that moment I had a breakthrough. I stopped shouldering the responsibility for the entire situation and was able to give some of it back along with the self-hatred that went along with it. This is a wonderful beginning.
After our meeting, I walked to the shops to get some groceries and waited for Ioannis to come and pick me up. The grocery stop was a step too far for today and I was exhausted. We got home and I got straight into bed with Ioannis’ help as I barely had the energy to take my shoes off. I snuggled up in his arms and had a rest and a nap, he makes me feel calm, safe and loved and I allowed myself to lean in to his strength and love. Once I had rested and had some of my power smoothie, I felt much better and Ioannis got up and cooked me a nice, nutritious meal. I will buy myself a thermos and take a flask full of power smoothie with me when I am out and about to give myself an energy boost so that I don’t get so exhausted.
So, that’s day one of chemo survived. It has been better than I expected. I shall make sure I rest well tonight and tomorrow my bestie Tina is coming to see me.