I am going to start this blog with a little warning that some of you may find this difficult to read especially if you are a bit squeamish. Also, those of you who are close to me will find it upsetting.
Over the past few days, I could feel reactions happening within my body but mainly it was just painful as organs were reacting to the stimulating effects of the treatment. Nighttime would be difficult as the pain would really get to me and I would be woken up with sharp spasms. Despite the fact that I am still taking the long lasting opiates from the hospital, they were really having much effect and so I want to stop taking them as soon as possible as they really don’t help the digestive system much, mainly because they cause constipation.
I can definitely feel my liver getting softer and the Dr, who did my original assessment but had been away until this morning examined me again and said that she could really feel the difference.
I had a pretty rough night with pain last night and was awake every hour or so throughout the night and so I did not feel good this morning. I went for my breakfast about 7.30am and just sat and took in the beauty of Soukya as I was eating. I walked back to my room alongside the wheelchair this morning as I wanted to get my body moving. I have been suffering terribly with constipation the last few days and I was very uncomfortable with it. My first little win.
The detox process has been creating acid reflux, I guess as the acid is starting to move from my liver. One of the doctors gave me some tablets to be dissolved in warm water to help with that and they were excellent. I took some yesterday evening and they had kept it at bay.
I lay down in my bed feeling pretty rough and snoozed until my therapist arrived to take me for my treatments. Just as she arrived, I could feel the acid starting to build again and so I made myself some hot water with the tablets dissolved. As I started drinking it, I could feel the nausea building until I knew that I needed to be sick. I was violently ill and the therapist called the doctor over to see me. It was very acidic and burnt my throat.
When the Dr got to my room, I had stopped being ill and was laying in my bed. I was very sweaty and clammy and felt very sorry for myself. I burst into tears when I spoke to her and told her that I had had a really bad night with the pain. She said that there is a number to call the doctors anytime at night and showed me where the number was on my phone. She said that I need never feel that bad or scared again, I must call them straight away.
She also explained to me that vomiting shows that the detoxing is starting to work and that if it was acidic, that is a good sign as my body is getting rid of the acid. If I am being violently sick a lot, it will need further attention but if it’s say once a day, it is part of the detox process. I told her that my constipation was making me uncomfortable and she said that they would give me an enema today to help things along.
She took my blood pressure and asked if I still wanted my treatments that day, which I said I did and so I made my way over to the therapy centre with the help of my therapist.
While over there, they gave me some tonic for my liver, which tastes absolutely vile and I had to concentrate really hard on keeping it down. I had the liver pack and circulation treatment with the warm pads and had just stood up for bed to be prepared for the water treatment. My therapist gave me my mid morning juice, which was a beetroot juice. I managed about half of it before I knew that I was going to be sick again. Luckily there was a sink in the corner of the room. This time though it was terrifying. I lost control of my body and I just couldn’t stop being ill. There was nothing left in me but I still couldn’t stop. I was dripping with sweat and shaking. Dr came in and then called one of the male doctors to come in and see me. They eventually managed to get me to move and lay on the bed as sitting against the sink was apparently causing me to continue to keep vomiting. I felt like my body had nothing left to give, I felt close to the edge and it was terrifying.
Eventually my body started to calm down as I lay there. My Dr had called Dr Mathai who had prescribed me some different medicines, which needed to be administered every half an hour. So I lay there for the rest of the day with my therapist by my side, administering the tablets to me every half an hour and making sure that I was ok. They only needed to sit on my tongue and dissolve and they tasted pleasant. Eventually my body started to feel better. I slept there on the therapists bed the entire time. Eventually about 5.30, I was able to muster up the strength to get up and go back to my room where I could fall into my beautiful comfy bed. I was not strong enough to take the enema, but as I got back to my room, nature took over and that problem was solved too.
I fell into my bed and slept again. I set the timer on my phone to go off every half an hour so that I could continue to take my medication until I had taken each of the three different medications twice and then stopped for the evening. I woke up at 8.30 and ordered my food as I knew that I needed to put something in my body and dinner was the easy to digest porridge and buttermilk juice with medicinal herbs.
I only managed to eat half of it, mainly because I fell fast asleep and it was stone cold by the time I woke up again.
I then slept again. I have a huge problem with night sweats while I am sleeping and it’s always a challenge to keep my bedding from ending up really soggy.
I woke up around midnight and knew that I needed to give my body some awake time before I settled down for the night, or I would end up waking up every two hours throughout the night. So I thought I would get a couple of blogs written, which I just have not had the energy or brain power to get written over the last few days.
My abdomen felt about a million times better that evening, it was much softer and less painful, my liver also feels much softer and dare I say it, less swollen. My life force feels stronger and I feel more relaxed.
The next day was really rough, My life force was very low and I could barely drag myself out of bed or keep my head up. I felt nauseous and other than managing breakfast, I couldn’t face eating the rest of the day. I was terrified of being as sick as I was the day before. I was sick a few times though and it wasn’t as bad or as violent. All I kept thinking to myself was about getting home when I am well to go and live with my Mum, which is what I have decided to do. I have had enough of London. That is what kept me going. I did go and have my treatments because I knew it was important to keep going, but I was so weak that I could barely walk. I really did feel that I was knocking on the gates.
I know how much toxicity has been sitting in my liver and that I have to go through this to get it clear. It’s unbelievable what my body has been coping with. I hope that detoxing my liver is the worst of what I have to go through and once it is clear, they can start to work on improving my health and my life force. It’s a long and bumpy road. Some days I feel ok, others I am in a very dark place and feel like I have nothing left in me. It’s those days that I have to focus on the love that surrounds me. All you healers out there, please keep sending me your healing and light and strength.
I am pleased to say that this morning, I feel much better. I have been sick a couple of times, but I have realised now that I need to do it first thing to clear my stomach. Apparently my liver is very gassy and that tends to get caught up, which I think makes me sick too.
I connected with my Mum and Ioannis last night and even though my nights sleep was a bit buzzy with stuff going through my head it was all positive thoughts about living a simple life when I get home. I have realised just how complicated I have made my life over the past 20 years, I have been running and fighting and being angry with my Mum, when all along, there was nothing really to be angry about, it was all self driven.