Today has been a good day, I have taken no pain relief since yesterday morning and I feel good. I have been put on steroids in preparation for my chemotherapy starting on Thursday and these have definitely made a difference to the pain, but I also feel much better in myself.
Ioannis had to work again last night and so he a ‘day off’ from me to relax and do boy stuff, although he was never far away in spirit.
Two of my besties Tina and Chloe came round this morning and we walked to Islington to the farmers market so that I could stock up on veg for my plant based diet. It’s the first time that I have walked anywhere since it nearly killed me on Monday and I wondered how I would feel. As it turns out, I was absolutely fine and it was my friends who were tired and needed a sit down by the time we got to Islington!
It’s so hard to get my head around the fact that I am in so much trouble with my liver when I feel and look so well. I just can’t understand how I can be so well and yet my liver is riddled with cancer. I am amazed by my own body. I am though and always have been, my Father’s Daughter and have the mental strength and constitution of an ox! You can find out more about my Dad on his page on this website.
I have been doing a lot of research about how I can best support myself and I am going to write a separate blog about what I have been researching and the resources that I have found so that you can benefit from what I am learning, if it helps you. Changing to a plant based diet requires me completely re-learning about how I eat. It’s a challenge, but I am up for it. If it helps my body, it’s a no brainer.
The biggest challenge (other than the obvious!) that I am overcoming in this journey is learning to reach out and ask for help. It is something that I have always found uncomfortable and I am having to really lean into this. I am also realising that I really have nothing to lose by asking. So here is my ask.
The thing that would make the biggest difference to me right now is to not have to worry about money. Not having to worry about how to keep a roof over my head and food on the table. I don’t know how much the chemo is going to knock me out but I also know that I need to focus my energy on getting well and not be worrying about driving my fledgling business and stressing about where my next client will come from. Apart from the day to day practicalities, which are most important, I know that the key to beating this is the natural healing that needs to take place alongside having chemo. There are things that I need to buy to help me with my new plant based diet. I will also need professional nutritional advice, therapies of various kinds and healing. I have an awful lot of internal healing to do and this is where my greatest work is. I truly believe that the reason why cancer is attacking my body is because I am carrying so much pain, hurt and anger that I have not been able to process and let go of. I need to do this.
So, I have set up a page where people can donate and help me. Please click the link. I would be so, so grateful for any help no matter how large all small, it all adds up. Your donation can be anonymous. This is the way that you can support me the most and make the biggest difference to me surviving this and beating it.
Thank you so much in anticipation of any donation x