There just aren’t words to describe the beauty of this place, from the moment I came through the gates in the cab, I knew I was exactly where I needed to be.
I came here on my own in the end because Ioannis’ Visa didn’t come through in time and to be honest, that’s exactly what needed to happen. Being here alone, I am able to absorb myself completely into the treatment and listen to my body. All it wants to do is rest. Things have been very difficult with Ioannis in the run up to India, he has not been coping at all well and has been very stressed, which unfortunately has been projected onto me and I have been trying to deal with his emotions as well as mine, which I simply don’t have the resources to do. It has literally taken me to the edge of life and death. It is not his fault and I don’t blame him. Looking after me and seeing the speed at which I have deteriorated is impossible for anyone to see. He feels so helpless and says that he wishes that he could swap places with me. He just doesn’t know what to do with himself or me. London is not the place to be for a very sick person; it made us both feel very stressed out.
I saw Kim on the Thursday before I left and had yet another deep and profound experience. When I got there, I was in a bad way and he told me that I looked like I had a foot in each world and I was more out than in. We then had a deep conversation about what scared me about living and what I was prepared to die for. We connected deeply with my body and with my truth.
I then went home and packed for India, slowly and with breaks in between with the help of Ioannis. I actually wasn’t that concerned about travelling on my own, I was just ready to have some space and time to myself. I flew with Emirates and I have to say that they were marvellous. Travelling business class sure gets you amazing service. They sent a car to collect me in the morning. Ioannis travelled with me. I had requested wheelchair assistance at the airport as I wasn’t strong enough to walk. It was there to greet us when we got there. We went and got my case checked in, which was stress free and then headed of towards security. I said goodbye to Ioannis and passed on through security. I have to admit that I breathed a huge sigh of relief as I went through those gates and I was finally on my own, I just really needed some space.
The flight was an hour late leaving Gatwick but they took good care of me and got me onto the plane ok. I sat in the business lounge while waiting to board and the service was lovely. I had some food and a rest. On the plane, they had made me a gluten free meal, which unfortunately wasn’t vegan, but I ate what I could of it. I was finding it a little difficult to breathe properly and was starting to get a little anxious and so they gave me an oxygen mask and tank, which I used as and when I needed it throughout the flight.
Because we were an hour late leaving Gatwick, we missed our connecting flight at Dubai and had to wait about another six hours for the next flight. Emirates came up trumps again and put us up in a hotel, which was lovely as I got a few of hours sleep there and recharged a little. I managed to get a message to Soukya to say that I wouldn’t be landing at 03:00 but at 09:00. I sent Ioannis a text to let him know that I was ok so far and having a stop off at Dubai. He told me that his Visa came through the very next day. I had to take a deep breath and send him a text back to say that I wanted and needed to do this journey on my own. I need to be alone to absorb the healing and I think he needs some space to sort his head out and come to terms with what is happening.
I had to cancel Ioannis’ tickets completely the night before I left and his Visa hadn’t come through. I have asked Emirates via the Flight Centre who we booked through if they would consider giving me a credit note in these circumstances. The tickets were none refundable and I know that, but a credit note means that I will use them again, which I would without hesitation. I am awaiting a response from them.
The flight from Dubai to Bengaluru was fine and I coped much better. I had put myself in a mindset that I needed to muster up all of my energy to cope with the flight and then I could relax, which was exactly what happened. I had a little moment of panic when I got to Bengaluru and they wanted the address of where I was staying and I realised that I hadn’t written it down. There was no 3G or free wifi and I needed to get into my cloud files from my phone. The kind person who was wheeling my wheelchair gave me his staff login to the wifi so that I could get the address. I also then phoned and checked with Mary who was managing everything Soukya end that they had got my message about the delayed flight and they had. There was a man holding up a board with my name as I came out of the airport. I breathed a huge sigh of relief. I was here. I had made it.
As we pulled into the drive of Soukya and I saw the beauty of it, I could feel my life force getting stronger. I just knew that I had done the right thing in coming on my own and I instantly had the sense that I would be staying here longer than 3 weeks.
I was greeted with a traditional Indian greeting, they put some red paint on my forehead and a flower chain around my neck and gave me fresh coconut water from the coconut, it was delicious and refreshing.
I sat in reception and filled out the forms that they needed, which were quite a few as it was a description of my current medical issues and the drugs that I was taking. I then went over to the medical centre to start the process of the initial consultation. I was really tired but I wanted to get things moving right away. A medical consultation at a holistic health centre is not like a 5 minute consultation you get with a doctor or consultant on the NHS. The physical symptoms are only a very small part of the story, in fact they are actually the last thing to present when there is dis-ease. What they really want to understand is what’s going on in your inner world, past and present, they want to get to the core of the problem because that is what needs to be dealt with. My initial consultation lasted about 5 hours altogether. I had to go for a nap after about an hour and a half as I couldn’t keep my eyes open, or put a sentence together and I was hallucinating a bit and not talking sense.
Dr Mathai is away for the next 10 days and sadly I missed him as I arrived just after he left. He asked the doctors to call through to him so that he could speak to me and make sure that I was ok. He is a lovely man and I feel genuinely cared for here.
I then sat down and spoke to Mrs Mathai, who is equally lovely. Her specialism is nutrition and we had a chat and she asked me if there was anything that I didn’t eat or had an issue with. I told her that I cut sugar, dairy and gluten out of my diet over a year ago and since my diagnosis I had switched to a plant based diet. She told me that although dairy as a rule is not good, buttermilk has medicinal properties and is good for helping the digestive system, so she would be giving me that as a juice with some medicinal herbs in twice a day.
My body suddenly took over and I was literally falling asleep as I was speaking to her. I was quite embarrassed, but I just had passed that point where I had any control. I was taken to my room where they brought me some dinner. I was falling asleep as I was eating it but I managed to get some down me and crawl into bed.
I have a beautiful, spacious room, which even has it’s own garden and a massive, comfy bed. As I fell into my beautiful comfy bed, which seemed to just absorb me, I fell fast asleep. Happy and contented, like a girl in paradise.
Treatments start tomorrow..
Love Hannah x